


Just Hold Me

by DragonHeartstring360



Series: Cullen x Morgynn Trevelyan [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:46:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonHeartstring360/pseuds/DragonHeartstring360
Summary: During a midnight walk to clear his head of the lyrium-induced nightmares, Cullen finds the Inquisitor battling her own demons from her dreams and offers whatever assistance he can.





	Just Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Cullen x Morgynn Trevelyan (female warrior)  
> Warnings: some angst, mentions of nightmares & vague reference to family disputes (not sure if that’s a needed warning, but I’ll put it here anyway, just in case)  
> A/N: Just some comforting and fluff. This is my first DAI fic, so please be kind to me. I hope you guys enjoy. You can get updates and send requests to my Tumblr, andraste-preserve-us.

Cullen was worried about her. He’d noticed—as had they all—that Inquisitor Morgynn Trevelyan looked wearier with each meeting at the war table, especially in the mornings. There seemed to be a stretch of time in the late morning to early afternoon where she was fine, but it always hit her again in the late afternoon and all throughout the evening. Whenever she wasn’t needed around Skyhold, she took to her quarters more often than not. She and Cassandra had become good friends, despite their first encounter with each other, and the Seeker had said she seemed even more tired on missions and was constantly getting up to walk around their camp every night. Cullen suspected nightmares were the problem, but wasn’t sure how to approach her about it. His feelings for her made things even more messy and made him a little nervous to approach her, even though she had been nothing but friendly towards him. She had even been the one to seek him out a few times just to talk and ask how he was, but he heard she did that with everyone. Cassandra said she wanted a good relationship with the people she was working with and Cullen admired her for it. She had been a good, firm leader ever since she’d become inquisitor, but was compassionate too and always made sure everyone in Skyhold had everything they needed. From himself to the servants, everyone was always taken care of. 

He kept thinking about her as he wandered under Skyhold’s stars aimlessly. His own nightmares had kept him awake and he figured some fresh air would do him good. He had told Morgynn he’d stopped the lyrium and he knew she was worried about him as well. She’d made him promise to take care of himself, so after his walk was through—for her—he would try to get some sleep again. It always surprised him how fierce she was in battle and how firm of a leader she was, but then she was so sweet to all her friends here. At first, he’d been surprised how open-minded she was for a noble’s daughter. But, then again, he had no clue what she’d been through in Ostwick with her family. He was never one for gossip, so couldn’t even remember half the rumors about the Trevelyans that he’d overheard. 

Without realizing it, he found himself wandering into the stables. He blinked in surprise, but continued on. He’d hardly ever been here with all the work he’d had. He’d hardly been anywhere except the stretch between his office, the training fields and the war table. All things considered, that was a small area considering how big Skyhold was. 

A whimper made him stop in his tracks and his dark eyes searched among the dimly lit corners. A familiar form with auburn hair sat hunched on a bench by the fire, her head in her hands. Cullen crept closer as Morgynn sniffled, afraid she would somehow take offense at his presence. He winced as his boot crunched on a leaf that must have blown in the open door at some point. The quiet sound deafening in the silence. 

Morgynn’s head snapped up and he could see her eyes were red. His heart sank as he took in the exhausted, defeated look on her face. “Commander,” she said, her voice wobbly. She sat up straighter, looking away and quickly wiping at her eyes. “I didn’t know you were here, I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Cullen said, fidgeting awkwardly. 

The pair stayed in an awkward silence for several seconds, avoiding each other’s eyes. Finally, Morgynn cleared her throat. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

He hesitated before answering honestly. “I tried and couldn’t. I came out here for a walk, hoping to clear my head before I tried again.”

She nodded, her blue eyes fixated on his boots. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep, Inquisitor?” He waited tentatively for a reply, hoping he didn’t offend her. But they were friends, right? She wouldn’t be offended with that question from a friend, would she? They had just never really delved into personal matters other than his stopping lyrium. But even then, he never really told her how bad the withdrawal was. She had enough weight on her shoulders without him adding to it. 

She was silent for a long time and Cullen could feel his cheeks begin to heat up. Finally, when he was about to apologize, she spoke. “I keep having nightmares.” Her voice was barely a whisper and Cullen had to take several steps forward to be able to hear. She glanced up at his hesitant approach and scooted over on the bench, patting the free space next to her. 

The commander did as bade and waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

She played with the hem of her plain, burgundy long-sleeve. The shirt wasn’t extravagant by any means. It even looked like something he would wear, were it cut for a man. The color looked exceptional against her pale skin and blue eyes, bringing out the hues of red in her hair. “They’re not even about missions, really,” she began, pulling him back to the matter at hand. “Or Corypheus or death. I mean, of course I have nightmares about those things occasionally. But usually… they just don’t make any sense. They’re all my worst fears combined—stupid fears, now that I’ve faced Corypheus. They were things I was afraid of back in Ostwick as a child that somehow still terrify me. And it’s always an impossible situation that I know can never happen in real life, but…” She shook her head, finally turning to meet Cullen’s eyes. She looked so exhausted and mentally drained. He just wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be all right. That he would protect her. Was that something friends did? He didn’t want to give her the wrong idea and scare her off, if she didn’t feel the same. How could she? He was just a broken lyrium addict. He didn’t want her to be forced to deal with the effects of his withdrawal, especially on the bad days. 

Morgynn’s eyes shifted to a spot just to the right of his shoulder. “They’re so vivid,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes. “And I’m so tired, I just want to sleep. But I’m afraid because I’ve had nightmares more often than not every time I sleep, and I need to sleep because I have to be able to function to lead the inquisition. And if I can’t lead, then I could kill people—I could fail people and I’ve failed enough—” She stopped herself abruptly. “I’m sorry, I know you have your own worries—”

“Don’t apologize,” he reassured her, risking a comforting hand on her shoulder. He gave her a gentle squeeze when she didn’t push him away. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to listen.”

She met his eyes once more, this time with tears pooling in the bright blue orbs and spilling down her cheeks. He’d never seen her like this. She always seemed so strong and confident in her decisions and showed no effects other than physical weariness of the huge burden on her shoulders. Sometimes he even forgot how huge of a burden she had to bear. Add that to the subtle comments she accidentally let slip now and then about how she didn’t get along with her family back in Ostwick and being a bit of a new-comer when he, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine were already close, she must’ve felt so alone. His heart felt like it plummeted out of his chest, into his stomach and onto the cold, hard ground as more tears spilled out her eyes. “I’m just so tired.” Her voice broke and Cullen couldn’t restrain himself anymore. He pulled her into his arms, with one hand wrapped around her front and squeezing her shoulder and the other rubbing soothing circles on her back. She buried her face in his shoulder, clinging to his torso tightly. One of her hands came up to grip the front of his shirt in a tight fist as she sobbed into his chest. 

“Shhh,” he murmured into her hair. The dark locks smelled of lavender and he quietly inhaled before he remembered why he was holding her. “You’re all right… You’re safe…” I won’t let anything happen to you, he wanted to add, but held his tongue. Although he swore to himself that he would protect her, always, even if it cost him his life. 

Her breathing evened out after a while. He wasn’t sure how long, but he was just content to hold her and wished he could do it more often. “Is there anything I can do?” he finally asked, desperate to take away her pain. 

“Just hold me, please,” she whispered, nuzzling her face into his chest and making his heart skip a beat. After another several minutes, she said, “Thank you, Cullen.”

“You’re welcome, Morgynn,” he returned just as quietly, resting his cheek against her hair. He had to say something about his feelings soon, or he would burst. But… waiting till the morning couldn’t hurt, right?


End file.
